After taking time this week to let all of my friends, family, and acquaintances know about “The Benefits of Contemplating Death,” I’m having a bit of a vulnerability hangover. There’s nothing quite like telling everyone who you know (but haven’t talked to in ages) that you spend all your time thinking about death.
For everyone who doesn’t understand why anyone would ever spend time focused on mortality, I thought I would let you know what research says about contemplating death:
It turns out… the research isn’t that straight forward. A meta-analysis called, “When Death is Good for Life,” examines studies based on Terror Management Theory (TMT—I’ll explain that fun term in a bit). This analysis highlights findings that show thinking about death consciously (right… this… second…) increases the likelihood that people will adjust their goals to be more personally meaningful, instead of “status-oriented.” However, “When Death is Good for Life,” also notes that unconscious thought of death (what you’ll be doing tomorrow once you’ve forgotten you ever read this article) causes people to uphold their worldview (i.e. core beliefs about life and the world). This can lead to excessive nationalism and increased support for war. You still with me? Good. Let’s dive a little deeper.
Conscious Thought of Death
Because you’re reading this article, you are thinking about death right now. This means that you have the opportunity let go of superficial goals in favor of goals you view as inherently meaningful. Let’s try it. I want you to answer these questions:
What would you change in your life if you knew you would live until old age?
For only 10 more years?
For only one more year?
A month?
What about a week or even just a day?
What is really important to you.
Take a minute or two to contemplate your answers, maybe even write them down. These questions are based on a meditation called “Contemplating Our Priorities,” from the book “Being With Dying” by Roshi Joan Halifax. She describes the meditation as, “A way we can explore our priorities, given that death may come at anytime.” Did anything interesting come up for you?
In “When Death is Good for Life,” the authors discuss a couple of studies done in 2009 that demonstrate conscious thought of death leads people to devalue superficial, or rather, “extrinsically oriented,” goals—think $$ and fame for their own sake. In these studies, people were split into two groups. The control group was asked to answer questions about pain while the experimental group answered questions about death. Immediately after responding, half of the participants in both groups were asked to rate the importance of intrinsic and extrinsic goals. Participants who answered questions about death and rated goals immediately, gave extrinsic goals low ratings. This means thinking about death causes people to place more value on intrinsic, internally generated goals—e.g. pursuing a self-determined interest or demonstrating care for loved ones.
If you, like me, sometimes get sucked into all of those things we “should” do (like take that practical job or get a degree in something that doesn’t inspire us) now we have a tool to realign ourselves. Thinking about death consciously and regularly could be the tool that allows us to value society’s goals less, and our intrinsic goals more.
However, there is the flip-side to these studies as well. The other half of the experimental group rated goals after a delay, when thoughts of death were no longer conscious. These participants, who were unconsciously thinking of mortality, gave excessively high ratings to extrinsic goals.
Unconscious Thought of Death
Terror Management Theory is a death anxiety theory that posits all of our actions can be traced to fear of death. As noted, studies based on this theory regularly conclude that unconscious thoughts about death cause people to uphold their worldview, reinforce their self-esteem, and place excessive weight on extrinsically generated goals. But there’s more. “When Death is Good for Life,” also cites studies that show unconscious death thoughts can also lead to increased nationalism, more punitive judgments, and a desire for symbolic immortality. This results in actions ranging from harmful to superficial—prejudice, support for war and terrorism, seeking fame, or trying to identify into a larger, immortal (potentially abstract) construct.
One such construct is justice. A study was discussed in an article by Julie Beck called, “What Good is Thinking About Death,” which demonstrates that thinking about death leads people to uphold their world-views. In this study, 22 judges were asked to answer questions before setting bail for alleged prostitutes. The control group was asked personality questions. The experimental group was asked two additional questions about death: “Please briefly describe the emotions that the thought of your own death arouses in you,” and, “Jot down, as specifically as you can, what you think will happen to you as you physically die, and once you are physically dead.” The judges who answered the death related questions set bail an average of nine times the standard bail of $50.
This study was also written about by three psychology professors in a book called “The Worm at the Core.” The authors sum up this case by saying, “The results showed that the judges who thought about their own mortality reacted by trying to do the right thing as prescribed by their culture. Accordingly, they upheld the law more vigorously than their colleagues who were not reminded of death.”
Additionally, Beck noted that since the original study, it has been shown that only judges who think prostitution is inherently immoral set the bail higher (which actually reinforces TMT’s belief that thinking about death will cause you to uphold your own worldview). A judge who doesn’t think prostitution is inherently immoral doesn’t raise the bail but is still upholding their own worldview. This points to something interesting: if your worldview is harmful, thinking about death will increase your belief in those harmful views. However, if your worldview is beneficial, then your positive beliefs will be bolstered instead.
Interestingly (and disturbingly, but not surprisingly), politicians often employ death rhetoric to take advantage of existential fear to manipulate voters into supporting their campaign. (Caitlin Doughty, mortician and founder of The Order of the Good Death, made a video about how death rhetoric helped Trump get elected.) The Ernest Becker Foundation, a organization that “seeks to advance understanding of how the unconscious denial of mortality profoundly influences human behavior,” and is based around the Pulitzer Prize winning book by Ernest Becker who wrote, ”The Denial of Death,” aim to counteract this manipulation through awareness. In their project, “Voter Manipulation,” the foundation states they, “hope that by peering into the most basic and primal motivations of the human experience, we can more readily recognize the manipulations in political messages and make the effort to reflect more thoughtfully on their language, tone and potential emotional impact.” I am not interested in being manipulated for nationalistic aims, so campaign rhetoric represents one more reason for me to address my death anxiety.
While the authors of “When Death is Good for Life” repeatedly acknowledge that confronting death causes people to uphold their worldview, harmful or beneficial, the authors’ also aimed to show positive aspects of typical responses to death. TMT based reactions to mortality salience (your own awareness of death) are all based on fear death. This fear (or avoidance of this fear) can, “Motivate people to enhance their physical health and prioritize growth-oriented goals; live up to positive standards and beliefs; build supportive relationships and encourage the development of peaceful, charitable communities; and foster open-minded and growth-oriented behaviors.”
However, these positive reactions to mortality salience still come from the belief that death is inherently terrifying. It’s sort of like saying, “If you’re afraid of death, here are benefits you can get.” But why would I want to live in fear? It’s the equivalent of being told, “You’d be in really great shape if the zombie apocalypse happened because you’d have to fight and run all the time.” To which I’m like, “I’ll take my slightly un-toned arms over zombies, thanks! Byeeee!”
Still, when I’m feeling anxious about my mortality, it is good to know that there are benefits I can get from fearing death. I can eat healthy food, exercise, and reduce my screen-time to try to fend off death for a little while longer. Exercising even has the fortunate byproduct of giving me endorphins, and who doesn’t want those? I can also choose a positive worldview to uphold. Why not try, say, “Empathy for all,” or, “[insert your own constructive worldview here: ______]”? If I want to nail down a legacy, I could choose beneficial ways to gain symbolic immortality—give back to my community, champion a worthwhile cause, or do something else I personally find meaningful, like make ginormous glitter sculptures.
Meaninglessness
This brings me to the next theory that addresses thinking about death, Meaning Maintenance Model (MMM— not to be confused with the popular candy created by Mars, Inc.). MMM proposes that we have a need for meaning, and death threatens our ability to obtain said meaning. In, “What Good is Thinking About Death,” Beck mentioned that Steven Heine, one of the founders of MMM, noted studies based on Meaning Maintenance Model have found that thinking about death doesn’t affect people more than watching a surreal movie. This seems like a pretty extreme parallel to draw when you realize the logical conclusion of MMM is feeling like death renders all of life meaningless—on second thought, there are some pretty trippy movies out there. I can see it.
Most people (me, hi!) can relate to the thought, “What’s the point, we’re all going to die?” And for some this thought leads to (an understandable) existential crisis — nihilistic despair. But nihilism can also be liberating. If nothing is inherently meaningful, then you are free to choose what is important to you. Here’s how life coach and motivational speaker Alison Cebulla, puts it, “Contemplating death and finding some sort of lightness in it is the only way to maintain sanity. It helps remind me that in the end everything is futile so we should have fun while we’re alive.” That’s not so bad, is it?
Of course, if nihilism isn’t your thing you can seek meaning in religious, spiritual, and/or scientific beliefs. Many creeds offer explanations of death that can be comforting if you resonate with them. If that sorta thing doesn’t suit you then you’re doomed to existential terror. JUST KIDDING. Here are a few perspectives you can use to make mortality more manageable:
CHOOSE TO LIVE IN LOVE
In the recent interview I did with social worker and speaker Lisa Greig, she says, “Life throws at you two choices: fear or love. Right? If we allow ourselves to constantly live in fear, then suddenly, we’d just become paralyzed by our mortality.” Every second we make a choice to focus on what enlivens us or what scares us. Practice choosing love as much as possible. It’ll get easier as you do it more.
FIND BEAUTY IN MYSTERY
Think of this quote spoken by Dumbledore, “After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” Or as J.J. Abrams says in his TED talk, “Mystery is the catalyst for imagination.” With the right perspective, the unknown can be inspiring, intriguing, and exciting instead of scary.
USE YOUR TIME WISELY (OR FUN-LY)
You can use death to remind yourself that time is limited, which will make you more likely to use it wisely. BONUS: You get to choose what wisely means for your life. We might as well maximize our time while we’re alive, right?
MAKE THE MOST OF LIMITED TIME
There’s more to the previous perspective than the common refrain, “Live as if you’ll die tomorrow,” which is good because let’s be honest, this advice actually isn’t all that practical. In, “What Good is Thinking About Death,” Beck articulates the issue with this idea perfectly:
