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Memento Mori: The Less Bro-y YOLO

The definition of memento mori according to Merriam-Webster is, “a reminder of mortality.” This idea has been executed in many ways over the years to serve different ideological purposes— from highlighting the uselessness of material objects to reminding people that whatever your socioeconomic class, you too will die. In this article, I will give you a brief overview of memento mori art, and offer ways to incorporate memento mori into your life. 

While most of society avoids talking about death, this wasn’t the case in the past. Symbols of death have been used as reminders to live well— meaning both “live how god wants you” and “take advantage of life” depending on the time period and artist. The basic idea of memento mori artwork is a piece that includes death symbols, the most common of which is a skull. 

VANITAS

Beyond just reminding people of their mortality, Vanitas paintings also point out that material objects do nothing to change our mortality. It is from a subset of memento mori art called "vanitas." These pieces depict the juxtaposition of death with material items. The purpose of this juxtaposition is to show the inevitability of death and the meaninglessness of objects. One famous Vanitas painting is called "Still Life with a Skull" created by Philippe de Champaigne in 1671. This particular painting is slightly different in that the three objects represent three elements of existence— the flower is life, the skull is death, and the hourglass is time. All of it together says, "memento mori”— remember you will die.

DANSE MACABRE

This subset of memento mori focuses on reminding people of shared mortality. That is, the idea that no matter your wealth, fame, or beauty, you still won’t be able to escape death. These paintings generally depict skeletons accompanying people of all stations—from the highest priest to the lowest peasant— to a dance with death.

I highly suggest checking out these danse macabre animations. One by Disney. One from PBS.

VICTORIAN DEATH PHOTOGRAPHY

The Victorian relationship with death is fascinating and multifaceted and is a story for another time. However, when I’ve mentioned this piece to peers, most people brought up the Victorian photos of dead loved ones. These photos often stemmed less from a desire to be reminded of their own mortality and more from a desire to have a memory of their loved one. Prior to photography the only way to memorialize someone’s image was through drawing or painting which was too expensive for most people. Photography made memorializing loved ones more accessible. Dead loved ones were posed in lifelike positions. Sometimes the corpses even had their eyes propped open for the photographs, or color tints were added to the prints to make the deceased seem alive. 

CONTEMPORARY MEMENTO MORI

Memento mori symbols of death have been adopted into our popular culture to the point where the skull no longer triggers any thoughts of mortality, but rather an attitude of slight edginess or badassery— although, judging by the pink bow earrings that are sold at Clare’s, even the fringe element of skulls are degrading. However there is a resurgence of death awareness happening in our culture right now— Caitlin Doughty creating The Order of the Good Death, the Morbid Anatomy Museum in Brooklyn, and so many more. All of these people, artists and death workers alike, are aiming at bringing back the spirit of memento mori— namely that thinking about death can improve our lives drastically. If we confront our fear of death, others can’t use it to manipulate us into making fear-based decisions. If we remember that we could die at any moment, or our loved ones could die at any moment, then we will be motivated to fill all of our moments with kindness, love, vitality, and authenticity. 

Whether you want to honor a dead loved one or remember your own mortality, the spirit of memento mori is a good way to add depth to your life. Remembering you will die, and can die at any moment, helps you to live in alignment with your values, treat those you love with care, and put everyday struggles into perspective. (Think I’m insane for thinking it’s good to think about death? Read my in-depth look at what studies say about thinking about death HERE.)

HOW TO INCORPORATE MEMENTO MORI INTO YOUR LIFE:

  • Spend 5-10 minutes recalibrating your priorities by contemplating what you would change in your life if you knew you were going to live until old age, for 10 more years, 5 more years, 1 year, a month, a week, or a day.
  • Write a letter to a dead loved one.
  • Purchase or create a piece of art with death symbols incorporated into it. Place this piece of art somewhere you see every day and when you walk by it, make a point to think to yourself, “I will die. My loved ones will die. How is that going to change what I do today?”

MEMENTO MORI ART TO PURCHASE:

The 5 Best Death Novels— At Least One is Very Disturbing

1. “Sabriel” by Garth Nix

Do you love foreign, magical worlds? ME TOO. This young adult novel follows Sabriel who is a good necromancer, called the Abhorsen, who puts people raised from the dead back to rest. Nix creates a fascinating version of death that parallels the underworld in the Inanna/Ereshkigal descent myth. Sabriel has to traverse both death and life to rescue her father who has been trapped by a powerful “denizen of the dead.”

2. “The Graveyard Book” by Neil Gaiman

Who better than the dead to give the living tips on how to achieve a life-well-lived? This “children's” book and Newbery-Award-winning novel follows Nobody (Bod) Owens who is a child raised in a cemetery by the ghosts of those buried there. Neil Gaiman uses this unique intersection between life and death to give poignant insights on how to live a fulfilling life.

3. “Jitterbug Perfume” by Tom Robbins

Want the recipe for immortality? Read this book to get your answer. Follow the characters through India, New Orleans, Paris and Seattle on their quest for eternal life and the perfect perfume. BONUS: Learn how Gods die.

4. “Slaughterhouse Five” by Kurt Vonnegut

For those of you who haven’t already read (or been forced, by some educational institution or parent, to read) this book, prepare for a particularly Sisyphean perspective on death. The novel centers around the Dresden firebombing in World War II and there are aliens, so prepare for both of those things too.

5. “Perfume: the Story of a Murderer” by Patrick Süskind

Want gruesome murders, motivated by really strange reasons? Here ya go. The main character has no personal scent, but is gifted with a superhuman sense of smell. He spends his life smelling Paris and learning how to make perfume. Then one day he smells the perfect smell— it’s a virgin girl, duh. Interesting and weird things then happen. It’s all disturbing and fascinating.

Want to Know What I Read About Death? Your Wish is Granted.

A Slice of my Death Inspiration: Mass Graves, Morgue Photos, Body Farm, Right to Die, Crematory Lessons

Unearthing the Secrets of New York’s Mass Graves

Do you know where unclaimed bodies in New York City go? Do you know what happens to your body after it’s been used for science? Nina Bernstein reveals the history of Hart Island, NY, where corpses are ferried twice a week to get buried by paid prison inmates in mass graves.

About Dying

Photographer Cathrine Ertmann takes intimate portraits of the dead. InAbout Dying she documents what death looks like at a morgue.

Forensic Anthropology Center

Colloquially known as the Tennessee Body Farm, the center is dedicated to studying the decomposition of human corpses. Understanding how bodies decompose in different environments allows forensic anthropologists to aid law enforcement by better identifying unknown remains. HERE’s a mini documentary Vice did on the body farm.

My Right to Die

Kevin Drum shares the history of legalizing assisted suicide— also known as death with dignity, or euthanasia. He delves into the complexities of how naming the movement affects public opinion, and he discusses why minorities that are wary of the medical system (often rightly so), are generally against legalizing assisted suicide. He frames the whole article in his personal story of individual and family health issues.

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

When Caitlin Doughty was eight she witnessed a little girl fall off the second story balcony at her local mall. The girl might have survived (we don’t know), but to eight-year-old Caitlin it felt like witnessing death. This led her to become a mortician so she could confront her fear of death brought on by this childhood trauma. In Smoke Gets in Your Eyes Caitlin demystifies death by sharing what most would consider gruesome details of corpses and cremation— get ready for detailed descriptions of body burning.